Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
