The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
