Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm getting married
To pizza
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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