I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
