Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
