I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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