naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sext me about skeletons
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
