From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
