Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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