I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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