I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
