ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
