Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We got so high we made milksteak
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
