made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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