im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
