ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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