Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
