If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
