dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
