he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
