I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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