dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
