She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I touched a dick in church today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
