hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
