We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
