Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
