her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
