I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
