My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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