I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
