Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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