NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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