Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
