Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
