Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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