YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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