I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
