ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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