Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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