Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
