HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
