Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
