Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
