when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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