Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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