I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
