He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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