dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
