I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You brought string cheese to the strip club
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
