Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The uberlube is also flammable
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
