1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
