I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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