Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
