Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
its not stalking. its research.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
