I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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